The Tale of a Too Tall Tree

I thought I’d keep things green around here in honor of St. Paddy’s day. I hope you’re enjoying a pint of beer and pretending to be Irish for a day. (I know…I know…you’re Grandmother was 1/8 Irish…sure.)

I’ve got a story for you about a tree plant.

Last week we had my mother in law’s car while she was on vacation. It was great! We bought so many large things, and forayed to places usually inaccessible to those without cars. We went to an outlet mall people! Urbanites don’t get to experience such things.

While we had a car I wanted to get a new plant. Odin is finally over his “eat all the plants!” obsession, so I went in search of a plant. I wanted a fiddle leaf fig tree. They’re beautiful and fancy and people on the web say they’re cool, so I needed one. Problem is, they can be expensive. However my main squeeze Ikea carries them. So off to Ikea I went in search of froyo and a fiddle leaf fig.

I get to Ikea, waited in line for my froyo and wandered the store eating my yogurty goodness and ended up in the plant department. I looked around and…NO FIDDLE LEAF FIGS.

Sad yet determined, I picked the prettiest palm I could find, grabbed a basket and headed to the car.

First problem: Plant is too big for car. That’s okay, I can put the seats flat and lay down the plant. Huzza!

I drive it home willing it to not roll around and get dirt all over my MIL’s car.

Get it home, and wrangle it out of the car. I’m starting to get the feeling that this plant is a bit big. I get it into the house and carry it upstairs.

Oh wow, this plant is really big…I have to squish it through the hallway.

I place the plant in it’s intended destination, the alcove outside our master bedroom beside a full length mirror.

Oh…the plant completely hides the mirror and it sticks out blocking our bedroom doorway and the hall. Sh$t. Now what?

Oh! We have a big guest room (big in comparison to the rest of our house) I’ll put it in there!

*Squishes plant down long tiny hallway.

In front if the bay widow maybe?


Well crap. I don’t have anywhere else to put it. The only other place is in the corner where the hot pink chair lives.


So I move out the chair, and slide in the plant, shoving his leaves against the
Wall and forcing him in. Ta-da! It fits(ish).



What about the chair?

One can only do so many things with a hot pink bankers chair.

I know, I’ll shove it in front of the closet. No one needs to go in the guest room closet. The only thing in there is extra duvets and old clothes.

And. like. if you need to open the closet, the chair totally can be moved. Right? RIGHT?


Oh I give up.